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 Poems to read WELLBEING ~ A MESSAGE FROM DAVID CAMEROM In this Con-Dem nation of Tory and Lib, We can't be wholly Con or Dem, so let's be glib, let's focus, like blurry Blair, on hocus-pocus, and aim, not for Social Justice, but WELLBEING ... (I'll quiz that fellow there, that frowning gent, who may be able to tell me what I meant.) I say, old chap! For me, WELL-BEING has got a lot to do with peeing, and what to do when you need the loo, like any human being. Since the British Public Convenience got thought to be inconvenient, and ignoring what went on in there got thought to be over-lenient, Since then, the late-night streets are crammed with desperate men, craving, by and large, not each other, but crying, (Pardon my French), Où sont les pissoirs? Where can I dip my pen? Bursting for a leak, and up the creek: Surely I'm not unique! Hobbling oddly, with a thwarted gait, gasping to get there, but Where? before too late: knees knotted, groin garrotted, What to do? You're turning blue! Things have come to a pretty pass when you start to regret that part ing glass, you drained unto the dregs. Now all you ask is a thermos flask, or hollow legs. WCs for WELL-BEING, that's what Britain needs! Beaming bowls, steaming stalls, and tall cylindrical urin-alls! Tory or Labour, Dave or Ed, whatever your politics, blue or red, remember what this voter said: A LOO FOR ME, AND A LOO FOR YOU, AND TWO FOR QUEUE ING LADIES TOO. WE'LL SWITCH OUR VOTE, LIKE THAT, HEY PRESTO! WHEN YOU PLEDGE 'NEW LOOS' IN YOUR MANIFESTO. ****************************************** A RAC FOR DRAC Dracula stirs at dusks, attaches tusks, like a witch a-twitch to hustle fresh corpuscle. He works in vein, an artist of the artery, the lad to fall for, if you're feeling martyry. His kiss of bliss, disdain it with a hiss or boo, do. He's a voodoo hoodoo: he's a Jonah, in quest of an involuntary blood donor. The only way to keep at bay this shady driller, this lady killer, is to look at least as lardy as Laurel, combined with Hardy. Wear a burqa, or a wig wam, or a cardie. O virgins, spurn his urgins. No bill and cooing, or, worse, undo-ing. He's Transylvaniac: a psychophrantic, neuromantic neckromaniac. O Maidens, drop your superstud illusions. All rat-man bat-man wants is blood transfusions. This vampire' d never stoke a lady's campfire ... I plead, miladies, heed my admonition: He offer s naught ... out of ten, blank ammunition. The best this infernal, eternal pest can proffer: a knock-knock- knock- turnal emission. He'd lick & snick & snack a lady's gullet; hence she must find (but Where at this time of night?) a silver bullet. Or feign delight, conceal her fear, aye, mask it ~ & screw Count Drac ula back into his casket. ******************************************************* TRIBUTE TO THOSE WHO SWIM WITHOUT BENEFIT OF TEXTILE You gotta be tough to swim in the buff: to dip in your nip: to go hell~for~leather in the altogether: to disassociate Nude from Rude: to whip your socks off, without wanting your rocks off: to stand there, bare as a naked pear: knickerless, ridickerless: embarrassed as a briefless barrist- er: fur- ry & free as a chimpanzee: stripped off & splendid as Nature intended: You gotta be tough, Oh,you gotta be tough: & that's enough. ************************************************** POEM FOR A MARRIAGE Love is earthquake & rainbow; minding & keeping in mind; seeing through another's eyes; being unworldly wise; & patient, whenever you can't be kind. Victorious over time, glorious love is hand in glove, like rhyme. ************************ BEAUTY Beauty is hidden everywhere, Even in the simplest things. The beauty of Opera? Little dancing. The beauty of Ballet? No-one sings. ***************************** To hear |
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